The six months rewind....

I've been wanting to write this for weeks now. I have too many ideas on how to do it, but I am little bashful to do so. But heck, this will eventually to get to the right person and he or she will read this.

I will not say that this past relationship was a mistake. It made me a stronger person. Through the times when I am depressed, I am learning as I go along. It is not the end of the world, as matter a fact it is just beginning. Tonight I will write everything out from top to bottom, from beginning to end(if there is one). Yes, it is going to be little difficult to say what I want to say. But letting all go is well worth it.

It started out as a random profile page, and then instant message, and then meeting in real life. Before all this happened, I was wondering why you put yourself out there like that. As turns out that you were in a long period relationship, geez louise, But I said to myself that, why not give a shot, and I did. In the beginning we were total strangers, but after that time at the mall, we were not anymore. Something happened, something clicked. I remember my car was about to die and your's did. It was middle of winter night, my god that night was cold, but I did have a great time. As the next weekend came about, you wondered what was I doing, I said, I am filling tax for myself. You said, lets go out and have some fun, and we did.

Eventually after several night of fun, we were dating. I thought I was in cloud 9 every weekend well sort of. I was recalling the long relationship, but I put a side that, because i felt like this was a new beginning for both you and I. There were times when I tell you how I feel about you, in a rush and too soon type of way. You got scared, but why did you take me back? There were other times when we just had a tad too much, so we decide to do something else

Thing eventually were all heading into the right direction, at least to my knowledge. You were in my car almost every weekend, pick a destination and we were there. You told me in details about your life past and present, and I showed you mine. Things were looking great. But that was about to change.

I am not 100 percent positive on this, but this is just what I think was happening. The long relationship came back, and even though you and I both agreed on this was not going to ruin our dating friendship, I really think it did.

Going to the present time, well one and half month ago, things just went sour, and I wanted you more. (Obession) which we will talk about it in a few. I didn't know what to do anymore, I felt like I wasted my 5 month of my life. My heart was crushed :`(

Going back and forth now, I ponder to myself for last couple weeks, I was wondering to myself if I should really write this out or just completely forget about it. I really didn't know. But I want to be as critical of myself and you who is reading this part.

Yes it correct that we clicked, yes it was true that I was little obessed with you. I really like what we had, there was just a word that should define us but we can't use it. Yes I should of just let you be but at the same time I was little confused about the thing we did. I will always remember the stuff that we did. Here is a couple, tubing, WV, calling your dad a guido, ferry corsten, bow, limin li biach, your car broke down, "I dare you to smack my ass" "I am coming to your house, and I know its 1am in the morning"

Am I praying for something, No. I feel like if I don't write all this stuff out, I will be more sad that I was a few days ago. Now that everything is out, I can look back on it and learn from it.

I like to close this post by a few words of sadness and continiouing with my life. I am not really sure why all these sadness has come out. I just want to find some peace in the end.......................

Limin 07/26/2008